This is an odd thing that has happened to me precisely this year—at least the beginning of it, individuation. The synchronicities were/are insane. And following them through has been a treasure trail, both inside and out, in almost mystical ways. I’ve always been a selfish person. thing is I’m also a mother. Turns out that many of the things that make me flourish as a person challenges my time availabilities towards the kids, and challenges what it means, apparently to be a “socially acceptable” mother. But ever since I claimed those — this is all elusive because who cares — I’ve never felt more at peace with myself, and paradoxically have never felt more present, like actually present with my kids. I think the hardest part, honestly, in this endeavour is that the economic system makes following your desires hard when survival comes first. And they are buried beneath all those other desires (drugs quick wins whatever). Strangely though I’ve been horrified since childhood to lie to myself. I always had to get to the bottom of things, and obviously there is no finish line, but things feel a little clearer at least. And it’s true, the first most consistent true desire that has showed up since “individuation” has been that good old Ottis Reddings song: Sittin on the dock of the bay. Counting the days till we move our family to the island and just sit there and watch the sea, hopefully by then I’d have successfully quit my phone addiction. There is still some road to go.
Thank you immensely for writing this. Beautifully articulated and goosebump worthy!
The Taoist effortless action (wu wei). You have found the way when your activity is unforced. If we incorporate Buddhist conceptions of the self as an illusion, then this is just the material world reflecting the fact that self-care and altruism are one and the same. One is not separate from other beings or the world, and one denies this reality by prioritizing oneself or the world over the other. The best way to follow the path? Intuition, effortless action - take care of the world to take care of yourself, take care of yourself to take care of the world.
An aside to your comparison of the Buddha, Solomon, and Marcus Aurelius - I keep noticing that spiritual and philosophical teachings from different religions and cultures can be interpreted to similar outcomes. As the old Confucian saying goes, "When a wise man points at the moon the imbecile examines the finger.” I'm not really sold on Omnism, but there is a sense that, when you get down to it, we might be from vastly different places, using very different fingers, but pointing in the same general direction seekingn the same Moon.
Yes, exactly. Without emotion / desire, there is ZERO foundation for ethics or even morals. If we can't recognize that we have preferred outcomes, we'll never understand that others do.
I don’t have anything profound to say, just that I very recently joined Substack and luckily your previous article on Authenticity (Legibility + Congruence) was the first one I found, which I’m very glad I did! Loved this piece and it truly resonated with some thoughts I’ve had on what my path through life should/will be.
Great post, and resonates with a post I wrote on Wise Altruism: https://thewiderangle.substack.com/p/wise-altruism-doing-good-under-radical - would be interested in your thoughts on that! I dig a little deeper into the System 1 angle, but I like your framing around desire. (You might want to google ‘Integral Altruism’ too)
I know and accept that children are working in mines in the Congo so I can lay in bed and read this on a really cool electronic device and I'm totally okay with it. If I weren't, I wouldn't be here. I don't feel bad about it because that would be negative.
This is an odd thing that has happened to me precisely this year—at least the beginning of it, individuation. The synchronicities were/are insane. And following them through has been a treasure trail, both inside and out, in almost mystical ways. I’ve always been a selfish person. thing is I’m also a mother. Turns out that many of the things that make me flourish as a person challenges my time availabilities towards the kids, and challenges what it means, apparently to be a “socially acceptable” mother. But ever since I claimed those — this is all elusive because who cares — I’ve never felt more at peace with myself, and paradoxically have never felt more present, like actually present with my kids. I think the hardest part, honestly, in this endeavour is that the economic system makes following your desires hard when survival comes first. And they are buried beneath all those other desires (drugs quick wins whatever). Strangely though I’ve been horrified since childhood to lie to myself. I always had to get to the bottom of things, and obviously there is no finish line, but things feel a little clearer at least. And it’s true, the first most consistent true desire that has showed up since “individuation” has been that good old Ottis Reddings song: Sittin on the dock of the bay. Counting the days till we move our family to the island and just sit there and watch the sea, hopefully by then I’d have successfully quit my phone addiction. There is still some road to go.
Thank you immensely for writing this. Beautifully articulated and goosebump worthy!
Thank you for sharing your experience here!
The Taoist effortless action (wu wei). You have found the way when your activity is unforced. If we incorporate Buddhist conceptions of the self as an illusion, then this is just the material world reflecting the fact that self-care and altruism are one and the same. One is not separate from other beings or the world, and one denies this reality by prioritizing oneself or the world over the other. The best way to follow the path? Intuition, effortless action - take care of the world to take care of yourself, take care of yourself to take care of the world.
An aside to your comparison of the Buddha, Solomon, and Marcus Aurelius - I keep noticing that spiritual and philosophical teachings from different religions and cultures can be interpreted to similar outcomes. As the old Confucian saying goes, "When a wise man points at the moon the imbecile examines the finger.” I'm not really sold on Omnism, but there is a sense that, when you get down to it, we might be from vastly different places, using very different fingers, but pointing in the same general direction seekingn the same Moon.
Yes, exactly. Without emotion / desire, there is ZERO foundation for ethics or even morals. If we can't recognize that we have preferred outcomes, we'll never understand that others do.
I don’t have anything profound to say, just that I very recently joined Substack and luckily your previous article on Authenticity (Legibility + Congruence) was the first one I found, which I’m very glad I did! Loved this piece and it truly resonated with some thoughts I’ve had on what my path through life should/will be.
Great post, and resonates with a post I wrote on Wise Altruism: https://thewiderangle.substack.com/p/wise-altruism-doing-good-under-radical - would be interested in your thoughts on that! I dig a little deeper into the System 1 angle, but I like your framing around desire. (You might want to google ‘Integral Altruism’ too)
Oh this is just beautiful.
Thanks, Takim
electriq
Tracks with this great article too https://substack.com/@rubenlaukkonen/note/p-185795610?r=1uogrf&utm_medium=ios&utm_source=notes-share-action
Very much appreciate that you seem [mostly] able to put into words the shifts that have been taking place for me over the past 5 or so years.
I know and accept that children are working in mines in the Congo so I can lay in bed and read this on a really cool electronic device and I'm totally okay with it. If I weren't, I wouldn't be here. I don't feel bad about it because that would be negative.